An Open Letter to the Addressee of Many Unsent Letters

katiebpeters:

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langleav:

If— by RUDYARD KIPLING

langleav:

If— by RUDYARD KIPLING

The only thing that hurts
more than being hurt
is being hurt and not believed.

Andrea Gibson (via legs-sadovsky)

(Source: silencecreptoverme, via legs-sadovsky)

The way you ask for what you want or need is also crucial. Say you have an uncle, and whenever the family gets together, he gives you a long, unsolicited and unnecessary critique about how you look and what you do. You don’t go up to him and say, “Uncle Boo-Boo, I wish you wouldn’t make fun of my hair and job at the dinner table.”

No! Wishes may or not be granted. First you ask for what you want, and then you inform Uncle Boo-Boo of a specific, clear consequence. You say to him: “I’m no longer giving you permission to speak to me in that manner. And if it continues to happen, I will no longer be a part of these gatherings, and I’m going to let everyone else in the family know why.”

People often engage in behavior that causes pain because there’s no consequence. You have to create that consequence; otherwise, the asking is just wind in the air. But I want you to remember: You’re creating a boundary — not a wall that isolates you, just a boundary, one that can be communicated with compassion. So when I get ready to speak to Uncle Boo-Boo, I’m not going to yell at him in front of the whole table. I’m going to say, “Uncle Boo-Boo, can I speak to you for a moment?” Then I’m going to take him on the porch, in the hall or in the living room where there’s no one else and discuss my need, because this is between him and me. If I am feeling pain, I’m no longer going to permit, facilitate or deny it. I’m going to own it and deal with it, and then, no matter what he says in response, I can begin to heal. This is a natural process. Over time, you’ll have more awareness. You learn to accept more of who people are, and, most importantly, you learn to accept more of who you are.

Iyanla Vanzant (via mindofataurus)

(via legs-sadovsky)

No one is always gorgeous. No one is always sexy. But love is a DECISION. Waiting to see whether someone is good enough is childish, and it is BOUND to make the other person feel on some level as though they’re auditioning for the part. In that space, we feel nervous, and when we’re nervous, we’re not at our best. The ego is looking for someone attractive enough to support. The mature and miracle-minded among us support people in BEING attractive. Part of working on ourselves, in order to be ready for a profound relationship, is learning how to SUPPORT another person in being the best that they can be. Partners are meant to have a priestly role in each other’s lives. They are meant to help each other access the highest parts within themselves.
    
I’ve been with men who never seemed to think I was good enough. I’ve also been with men who were smart enough to say, “You look beautiful tonight” often enough for it to bolster my self-esteem and help me show up for life in a more beautiful way. None of us are really objectively attractive or unattractive. There is no such thing. There are people who MANIFEST the potential for sparkle that we all share, and those who don’t. Those who do are usually people who some where along the line, either from parents or lovers, were told verbally or nonverbally, “You’re wonderful and beautiful.” Love is to people what water is to plants.

Marianne Williamson (via legs-sadovsky)

(Source: mindofataurus, via legs-sadovsky)

Sorrow prepares you for joy. It violently sweeps everything out of your house, so that new joy can find space to enter. It shakes the yellow leaves from the bough of your heart, so that fresh, green leaves can grow in their place. It pulls up the rotten roots, so that new roots hidden beneath have room to grow. Whatever sorrow shakes from your heart, far better things will take their place.

Rumi (via ecstaticallyinspired)

(Source: fables-of-the-reconstruction, via fuckyeahrumi)

Save your
hollow speech
for a crowd that
does not know
of your deceit
as well as I do.

Noor Shirazie  (via ajeebinsaan)

(Source: aestheticintrovert, via preetd0llxo)

I’d rather be alone, than in the arms of someone who does not have the ability to comprehend the true essence of me.

(via taaqat)

(Source: awakenedvibrations, via preetd0llxo)

If flowers can
teach themselves
how to bloom after
winter passes,
so can you.

Noor ShirazieSpringtime (via aestheticintrovert)

(via preetd0llxo)

(Source: neonjungleworld, via preetd0llxo)

You deserve the kind of love you would give someone else.

#127: (February 3, 2014)

(Source: write2014, via coffeeinthemountains)

Sexist jokes as part of a pyramid illustrating violence against women. Sexist jokes as a huge factor contributing to the culture of violence against women.

I’m used to it

The saddest thing you can hear someone say. (via hisohiso)

(Source: suckingonlarry, via unicorngate)

Anything on earth that a woman is capable of doing is womanly. It is impossible for a woman to be unwomanly because a woman is a woman. Therefore, anything a woman does is womanly by default. Fighting is womanly. Winning fights is womanly. Bruises are womanly. Savagery is womanly. Unwholesomeness is womanly. Athleticism is womanly. And not giving a shit what some poor delicate flower of a newspaper columnist thinks about your womanliness is super fucking womanly.

Fierce Women’s Judo Competitors Offend One Man’s Delicate Sensibilities (via brokenimagination)

(via brokenimagination)